Day 55- Body Confidence

It is funny... I never have been one to fret about my size or my weight... I mean, I always wished to be thinner and fit, but it never bothered me much. Ever since I have started this challenge, I have agonized over my body, my slow progress, how wide my hips are, etc... it gets me thinking that maybe I am missing the point of this whole transformation. I just received some pictures of my girls from my recent Oregon trip... I look at them and am envious of their body confidence. So, please, take a cue from my girls and rock the swimsuit, smile on the scale, and keep on trucking.

Day...uh....??? Hey, I am on vacation!

So here I am at the end of my quick trip up to Oregon... proud of myself for working out and making some good food choices, but still feeling bloated and f-a-t right now. Just talked to Timmy...the weight seems to be melting off of him (down 26 pounds already!!!) Trying not to have a pity party for myself and wondering why not me, but it is hard. I know it might take longer for me to see the results I want but I am DETERMINED to get there!!! I do miss my gym so I guess that is a good sign! I am going to indulge in my ma's AMAZING homemade cherry pie tonight!!! Here is to a better week ahead... hoping to see 141 when I step on the scale next Saturday! Wish me luck and keep on moving!!!

Day 42- Start of Lucky Week 7

So here we are... half way through this 12 week journey. I am going to take a minute to reflect and set some new personal goals for myself. Those of you who have the pleasure of getting to hear me bitch on a regular basis may know how I am struggling with my slow physical results. I am down 8 pounds total from start... I am still in the same pant size and I still have a long ways to go. I am not going to waste anymore time talking about what has not happened for me... I am going to continue to look forward and challenge myself in a new way everyday. I am totally the tortoise... and slow and steady will win the race. I am traveling out of town for the first time since I started this, and I am nervous about being out of my comfort zone... especially since I am going to my mom's house where I usually gain about 5 pounds per visit. So, Ma... if you are reading this... DON'T TEMPT ME!!! It will kill me to not eat your home cooking and cherry pie... but be my cheerleader! Thanks! Tomorrow I am setting 3 goals for myself... NO WHINING, DRINK WATER, AND NO NIBBLING!!! I will report back and let you know how I did. To all of those who are ready to change their unhealthy lifestyle to a healthy one, know this... I used to dread going to the gym... I am now a gym rat. It can happen! I went to the gym TWICE today and it is supposed to be my cheat day! Now go get 'em tiger!!! LOL
Love Kait

Need some motivation...

These last two weeks have been rough... the diet part of my transformation has been killing me. I want to eat... whenever I want and whatever I want. I want dessert and snacks... I want to feel stuffed. I am not motivated at all!!! I am down 8 pounds and that is it... no dramatic weight loss or body transformation... my pants are still snug... ugh. Ok--- so enough bitching about it... I need to stick with this and get somewhere with it. So what do I do? Where can I dig for this motivation? I say I am not going to take little bites throughout the day and I do... I feel like a failure b/c I can't even do that!!! This is not just a 12 week challenge... it is a lifestyle change. How can I make this work? My new goal is just for the rest of today, tomorrow, and until Saturday night... I am going to give 110% at the gym and no cheats! Not one little morsel. 2 1/2 days... I CAN do this! My life will no longer be defined by the challenges I am facing but by how I respond to and handle them.

Day 30- Minor Setback

So these nasty viruses going around knocked me off my feet! Haven't been to they gym now in 3 days and am feeling the dreaded F-A-T. Yuck. I just feel gross. I have been trying the last couple of days to at least eat and keep my metabolism going, but, amazingly, I am in no hurry to get on the scale this week! We took my 4 week photos on Saturday and I noticed a slight difference in the backside view but I am looking forward to WAY more progress this next time around!!! I know they say 8 weeks is the magical mark to see results so I am a little bummed I am set back a week, but what can you do? So despite the fact that I can't even make it through a conversation without my annoying cough, I am going to the gym tomorrow...even if I have to walk the whole time. I have been pretty bummed that I have not dropped a pant size yet, but the other day while getting dressed, I realized how quickly I just grab a shirt out of my closet now... I no longer am selectively picking the best shirt to hide my tummy. So, although I am not down a size, my clothes must be fitting better. Awesome! Wasn't that one of my goals? I don't think I wrote that down, but I used to think that skinny people could just pull clothes on and I envied that. Now I am doing that (although I do still wish the sizes were smaller)! It is still progress! And although I am living with the Hare... the tortosie finished first, didn't he???

Day 24- What happened to my fat tuesday???

Day 24- ASH WEDNESDAY (<--- if you see people walking around with what appears to be dirt on their foreheads, don't ask them what in the heck is on their forehead...lol, Timmy!!!) Anywho, yesterday was Mardi Gras so I celebrated with half a sugar cookie... I do still miss shoving my face full of food sometimes but then remember how I always feel on my cheat day...gross. So this morning I wake up, pull on my jeans fresh out of the dryer, and...gasp! They fit!!! No squats! Fantastic!!! The only thing is I think they feel tighter around my quads...hmm... muscle?? Hopefully!!! This Saturday we will be retaking our before pictures so I am anxious to see if there has been much progress physically. I am trying to be a good girl, but have been putting the occasional bite in my mouth, so I am going to work on that today. And for Lent, I am giving up complaining... LOL... so help me do it! No complaining about diet or exercise or money! That is my goal (except on here... that is my one exception as I am not a Saint and I want you all to know how real my struggle is.) So here is to the next 4 weeks of a chipper (well, I wouldn't go that far) and skinnier? me!

Day 21--- Make it hurt so good!

Today was my cheat day (well it kind of started last night, so need to be better about that) and I am hurting... too much grease! I am about to start week 4 and I have to admit I am starting to feel a little panicky... why haven't I seen results? What if I go a few more weeks and no results? etc. etc. I also received the dreaded "compliment" today, "You look so good for having 3 kids!" Really? So, what exactly does that mean? I want to look good period! I want people to think, "wow, she has 3 kids??? Amazing!" Anywho, sorry about the pessimistic tone in this blog tonight. Went to a friend's memorial which has me a little down. But it also has made me remember that this is my life... the only one I am getting. And I have seen results... I am loving life now, not just living it. I am setting up healthy habits for my young girls to learn. My husband and I have more energy and are just plain happier. We don't need "things" or "food" to fill the voids in our lives. So, my goal for tomorrow is to hit it harder then I ever have before, to love the life I am living, and to be happy with who I am today.

Results of week 3:
Tim down about 15 pounds from start
Kait down almost 5 pounds from start

Next week- re-take pictures and compare!!!

Day 18-- I've Fallen and I can't get up!

So it has been going better this week... on track with the diet and finally doing weight lifting as well as cardio. I am missing my desserts though...badly. So I had a Hershey's Kiss today. It was really good. The girls were having one... there were 4 kisses and 4 of us... seemed to make perfect sense. Now, you are probably thinking, "There is no harm in indulging in a little taste sometimes..." except it is the gateway drug!!! Tim is gone tonight and I am sitting here feeling SO hungry... and there are my leftover See's candies in the fridge... so I had one. And then I thought, well I already had one and the kiss earlier, so what is one more??? But that is the problem! That mentality!!! We can't just throw away our hard work with anything in life over one stupid slipup. Every time I choose to eat is another chance for me to make the right choice... so I am still hungry, still craving (badly) but my hot tea is brewing right now and that will have to do for another hour until I have a delicious chocolate protein shake (c'mon I am trying to convince myself!) Moral of my story: still not ready to let myself have those tiny indulgences here and there... guess it is too early in the game!

Day 15--- It's Been Awhile...

Sorry I have been MIA this week... I get swamped at work in the middle of the month and the last thing I want to do is get on a computer at the end of the day!!! Things have been going a little up and down for me. I have been sticking with the program and did not weigh myself at all this last week, as my husband bet me I could not go a whole week without weighing myself... that was torture!!! (sidenote --> just read last night that women lose more weight when they weigh themselves everyday) We did start weight training this week as it is the most essential element to fat loss and it killed me! I did a hip hop class at my friend's insistance on Friday night for my cardio... it really worked me and showed me that I still have no rhythm... yeah, me trying to gangster walk...LMAO!!! So after all of the anticipation I weighed myself on Saturday, I stepped on that magical scale, and.... and... I gained a pound. WHAT!!!??? After all of that??? I was so upset... but the most surprisng thing was, I never had one thought about "quitting" because I realized that there was nothing to "quit"... this is my lifestyle change, and I am never going back. So my cheat day started sat. night and continued it's gluttoness self into last night... I weighed myself this morning and it showed... my weight is WAY back up... ugh. But that's ok... I am waiting for my hubby to get home and then I am going to start this morning back at the gym. I am going to do my 20 minutes of cardio, no more, no less. And I am going to BELIEVE in the science of this program, and believe in myself, and know that if I stick this out I will see results. So move today!!!

(p.s Tim has lost about 10 pounds and is about 3 notches down on his belt... and he looks good!!! Rock on!)

It's Day 7 ---> Cheat Day!!!

Yeah! End of week one!!! I am so proud of Timmy and myself for making it through week one! Now this might not seem like the biggest deal, but in the past, we usually quit by day two and that is just diet... we never exercised! Friday was good except for when we went a little too long to eat... that is when visions of fountain sodas and sourdough jacks danced in my head. I notice when we are eating every 3 hours max the cravings are not there. Yesterday was a challenge... went to a birthday party with the kids and they were serving Aladino's pizza...oh man! I LOVE that stuff. I didn't have a piece only because we are in week 1 (remember the whole gateway drug thing???) and just popped a piece of gum in my mouth instead. Last night we went to a friend's house for dinner. I brought over steak and potatoes (all ok on the eating plan) but we ended up eating too large of a portion, strawberry salad (not awful but still...) and my steak was covered in sauteed mushrooms... who could resist? It was wonderful! So we will cheat today and just have a healthy dinner. As for the results of week 1.... before I annouce these I must add that prior to starting this, I had been doing weight watchers and working out 20 minutes a day for 8 days straight... I didn't lose an ounce. I thought it was because I must be gaining muscle, until this week on the Biggest Loser when Jillian said if people tell you that it is bull sh**... I think weight watchers is a good way to lose, but I think eating 6 times a day and only running for the 20 minutes, but the fluctutations of the run, really jump started my metabolism.

Start of week 1: 151 pounds, had to do squats to fit into jeans, sluggish in the morning, bloated
End of week 1: 146.8 pounds, still have to do squats to fit into jeans, energy in the morning, not bloated!

(by the way---> props to my man for losing 7 pounds!)

Day 4... not so good???

So, remember how I said I was trying to bust making excuses for not working out??? Yesterday I had a relapse... I ate great all day... I have gone 4 days without diet coke or chocolate... hopefully you all still want to be my friend! But found out some crappy news about Tim's job in the morning which just kind of crashed on me finally. Then had to cancel our trainer session at the gym, so still no weight lifting this week.... but went to the gym real quick anyways to run. Well, after a little incident with the daycare, we cancelled our membership and so I never got to workout. I then did taxes and by the time I was done (which I thought it was already 11:15pm since I was wearing an old watch that I never set the time back on...oops!) I took a bath and watched tv in bed. Let me tell you, I think all of my excuses were legit, but they are still EXCUSES! No reason why we can't find 20 frickin' minutes to move our bodies. But here is another thing I am learning... that was yesterday and today is a new day! (<--- thanks for that prelly!)

Day 2 & 3ish- Get me outta FUNKY town!

So yesterday was a bit of a challenge... was thrown one of those "curveballs in life" and was still pretty sick, so I didn't want to have to think about when to eat and what to eat. I made it to the gym and did more cardio since we will start weights tomorrow and I did manage to avoid cheating a little... as a little cheat is what I have heard been called "the gateway drug". Today was also kind of funky as I am sore and can still barely breathe... I am going to visit a good friend in the hospital tonight... all of a sudden it dawned on me that I would be leaving Timmy to his own defenses for dinner... not a great idea! This is where my brain kicked into "excuse mode" until I duct taped it's filthy mouth shut and decided the best solution would be to cook dinner at 2 in the afternoon so it would be ready to be heated and served! Is it tacky to bring your own dinner to the hospital??? I also managed to drown our only portable phone in the dog's water bowl... my neighbor called and after being on the stationary phone for two minutes Rylee came around the corner with a carton of 24 eggs... she had somehow got the fridge open, propped it open with condiments, and ran off with the eggs... hmm...exercise is sounding kind of good right now!!! (no kids!) Thanks for the awesome feedback... make a small change today and just take it ONE DAY AT A TIME... that is all we have... TODAY. Make it count!

Day One--- F*** You Snotty Nose

Officially Day One... overall feeling quite proud of myself. My biggest problem is making excuses... so go figure, I wake up with a stuffed up nose, swollen throat and throbbing headache. I think, "of course this is happening... I am supposed to go run my arse off at the gym later, can't breathe well... no biggie" (note the nasaly sarcasm). Anywho, I ate spot on today and it felt good to be actually using ALL of my wonderful Pampered Chef products (no plug intended) all day. I really thought about what I was feeding my girls too. I def. felt HUNGRY all day... not craving as I felt crappy, but HUNGRY. It is so silly what made me proud today... not eating the last bite of the girl's granola bars (internal struggle: it is only one bite and they are healthy... but it is only one bite so why eat it? It will probably spiral into other "one bites" later...) I also went to the gym today and ran my heart out for 20 minutes! So cool! My heart rate was through the roof and I felt bad for the person behind me who had to stare at my butt jiggling but it was worth it! So to my stuffy nose and sore throat I say, F*** YOU! I feel amazing!

Not even day one...

So it is the night before I start the Body for Life 12 week challenge. I am feeling sick, the girls all have fevers, and I am already feeling like I am setting myself up for failure. I haven't even started yet. Over 12 weeks I will exercise and eat clean and supposedly transform my body (can you tell I am a little skeptical???). I have seen so many before and after photos of people who have accomplished this feat so there is no reason why I can't. Every excuse I have, they have had, and overcome. I am too out of shape (so were they), my body type just isn't meant to have a flat stomach (some of those women's stomachs before make mine look like I have a six pack), they are older, and busier, and more tired then I am, and they all DID IT. So, I have packed all of Timmy's food for tomorrow, I have my meals set into place, and all I have to get through tomorrow is 20 minutes of cardio and avoid mindless grazing (so fun with the kids eating my favorite pb&j!) So here is to a new me... you won't recognize me come April... I am not going to try because the minute I let that word into my vocabulary I will fail. I am done with excuses... we only have today... sieze it!!! So read on as I journey through the next 84 days if you like... send me any thoughts, questions, or concerns if you feel so inclined!!!

My reasons for doing this:
1. I am sick of the fact that the only reason I do squats is when I just put on my jeans and I am trying to stretch them out to fit... (anyone else have this problem???)
2. I want to walk by my husband naked and feel like a goddess.
3. I want to get this over with so I don't spend the rest of my frickin' life "battling my weight"
4. I want my girls to have a better role model, a strong and healthy mom
5. I want to wear a bikini on my cruise and rock it!

What I will acheive over the next 12 weeks:
1. I will lose 15 pounds of fat
2. I will be able to pull on a size 8 jeans without having to do my squats (see above)
3. I will have a flat (not flatter but flat) stomach and not look like I am in the early stages of pregnancy
4. I will wear chonies and they won't cut into my skin but rest nicely on it like I see on tv (lol)
5. I will have a ton of energy